Thirty Before 30

Almost two years ago I wrote a list of thirty things I wanted to accomplish before my 30^th birthday, some items on the list were big, some small.  I figured that I had allowed myself plenty of time to cross these things off before I turned 30.  The time has flown.

Now, with a little over four months remaining until my deadline, I thought I would reflect on what I have achieved, and have yet to accomplish and those things that have been/should be scratched.   

1. Write a list.  Check.  My attempt at humour.
2. Learn to play the ukulele I bought in Fiji.  Check.  To be fair, I can only play one little tune that a man with a beard taught me to play (I watched his videos on youtube).  Prior to this I had a really enjoyable evening with a girlfriend drinking wine, eating Chinese food, and she taught me the basics.  All learning should involve red wine.
3. Keep a creative journal.  Pending.
4. Shoot more film.  Check.  I had a great morning shooting with my Diana at the Balloon Festival in 2013, unfortunately the film is languishing in my bedroom, undeveloped.  Must get on that.
5. Buy myself flowers.  Check. 
6. Grow herbs on my balcony.  Check.
7. Take holidays.  Fail.  I am currently on a break from work, but it is compulsory leave over Christmas.  Though, I did drive nearly 1200 klms to Brisbane to spend Christmas with my Mum, which was great.
8. Sell my first home.  Check.  What an ordeal.
9. Go skydiving.  Pending.  Though highly probable that this will go un-done.
10. Get a tattoo.  Pending.  Refer comment point 9.
11. Learn to sew my own clothes.  Check.  I am so proud of the skills I have picked up this year.  My confidence is growing.  I would like to incorporate my makes into this little blog, rather than just posting about them on Instagram.  Watch this space.
12. Refresh my Japanese speaking/writing skills.  Pending.  I have purchased an audio book for this purpose to listen to while running, and I did it a few times, but I found I prefer to run to music.
13. Visit my brother in Canada and see Northern Lights.  Pending.
14. Learn to mountain bike without fear.  This will probably be a fail, I haven’t been on my bike in a long time. 
15. Sketch/draw more often.  Check, sort of.  I did a lot more sketching when I was living on my own in 2012.
16. Write a haiku.  Hah, no not really.  Although, during a moment of silliness shared with my wonderful housemate, we developed one that basically involves saying the-c-word seventeen times. 
17. Feed animals at the zoo.  Check.  I actually intended to take an animal feeding tour at the zoo, but, I took a trip to the zoo for a friend’s birthday and we were lucky enough to be offered (by a zoo keeper) to have fruit mush spread on our hands and let a 400 kg bear lick it off.  It was disgusting, hilarious and amazing.
18. Go on more picnics.  Check.  Most memorable of these was probably Canberra Day when we all wore red.  Team with a theme. 
19. Go snorkeling at Ningaloo Reef.  I will do this one day…
20. Volunteer.  Pending.  I had intended this to be an ongoing volunteering exercise, but I am now thinking a one-off/occasional exercise might be more practical. 
21. Go dancing with Tammy.  Pending.  Though, I was lucky-enough to cut some serious rug with Pony at her wedding about two weeks before writing this list. 
22. Do more experimental cooking (i.e. the type that uses every dish in the kitchen).  Check.  My wonderful housemate would argue that I use every dish in the kitchen every time I cook…  I have cooked a number of new-to-me dishes, which was my intention here.
23. Sing Karaoke in Japan (again!).  Sadly, not yet.
24. Learn sign lanuage.  Pending.  Logic tells me that this is unnecessary, I have no real use for this in my every day life, but it is a skill that I have always wanted to have.  I worry that if I learn, I won’t practice and it will go to waste.  We’ll see.
25. Go on dates.  Check.  I have enjoyed dating (at times) and found that I can say ‘No’ when I could see there was no future, which I found quite liberating.
26. Buy a record player and dance around the living room.  Pending.
27. Host a murder mystery party.  Pending. 
28. Read the Harry Potter series - again.  Sadly, this hasn’t happened, but my housemate and I did watch all the movies in order early in 2013, so I am happy with that.
29. Go to the circus.  Check.  Went to Spiegeltent to see Empire which is a pseudo-circus.  It was a great night. 
30. Go to a rock concert.  Check.  I am counting Cell Block 69 as a rock concert – it was a really fun show.

So, that’s 14 out of 30.  Not even a pass.  Good thing I still have a few months up my sleeve.

And, while there a number of things on this list I have not achieved (and likely will not achieve), I am not going to be too hard on myself, I have had a very full couple of years… 

New Year Anxiety

Confession:  I have spent the last few months of 2013 wishing the year away.  My logic had been that 2013 was a shit year (in respect of mystery illness, stress, business downturn in the industry I am employed, bouts of insomnia, etc.), during which I felt I had achieved very little.  I was looking forward to a break from work over Christmas, and then a new year with a fresh outlook.  

Now that the new year has arrived, I find myself with no immediate feeling of relief, revitalisation or anticipation for what the new year will bring…  I am exhausted, emotional and incredibly anxious.

Following many (many) tears over the past few days, I decided to change tack and reflect upon my highlights of 2013.  Now, I feel the need to preface this list by saying that 2013 was a year of small mercies, not of major accomplishment or change.  So, in no particular order:

• I learned to run 5 kilometres – this is pretty amazing for me – in all of the iterations of myself that have existed, I had never considered myself to be a runner and I have found that I really love it;
• I sewed 12 garments that I actually wear (there have been others that have not made it into my wardrobe rotation, but the vast majority I am really proud of);
• I am back doing 20 kg squats in BodyPump at the gym, I tore some cartilage in my knee in November of 2012 and carried this injury through most of 2013, but I am pleased to be pushing myself in the gym again;
• Some amazing celebrations during the year – my 29^th birthday, Christmas-in-July-but-in-August, the annual Family Christmas Party and spending Christmas with my Ma in Brisbane;
• Embracing (unapologetically) my love of making, and indulging in this.  Often.

Continuing the theme of small mercies, here is a list of things I am looking forward to during 2014:

• Turning 30;
• Celebrating my mum’s next BIG ZERO birthday (out of respect I will not disclose which multiple of ten she is turning) we are planning a joint-birthday adventure (toying with such destinations as NYC, Paris and Canada);
• Continuing to sew pretty frocks for myself – I would like to participate in Frocktober this year, so I need to build up my collection;
• Crafteroon delights – spending quiet moments making with my dear friend, we are toying with the idea of blogging about it.  Watch this space;
• Finishing the cross-stitch kit I got for Christmas (I am not a cross-stitcher, and it is enormous, so it might take me until this time next year to finish!);
• A million other shining moments of happiness and fun that happen often when spending time with my friends.

When I pondering happier times of this year, I was reminded of a conversation that I had with a friend several months ago, when I told him that my life was “full of friendship, love and happiness in a way that it had never been before”.  And so it remains.  I really am so lucky… 

To my amazing friends (who came to me via the sweetest kind of serendipity) and to my darling mother, I love you.  I am so grateful for each and every one of you.